Obsession
by Heidiho16
Summary: The chilling story of how Castle bacame so interested in murder. Rated T for minore swearing and violence
1. Chapter 1

So I watched the Vampire Weekend episode again the other day and it got me thinking. What really did happen to make Castle so interested in murder? I got to thinking and thought this would be a interesting little twist. So enjoy my own personal little take on what could have happend. :P Any errors or typos are mine. I wote this in like 20 min.

I do NOT own anything that has to do with Castle.

* * *

"You know you still haven't told me where your fascination with murder came from."

Castle froze, he knew it had been coming, he just didn't quite know what to say. He knew he wanted to tell her the truth but he didn't know of he was ready to tell her. He didn't know if he was ready to tell anyone. He didn't want to reface the dark horrible scene that he was met with so many years ago.

Not knowing what else to do he did what he did best. He told a story, and the thing is, he knew she would bye anything he told her. Not only was he an amazing story teller when he felt like captivating an audience. But he knew that when he needed to, he could hide every emotion known to man. Even from a trained detective. As he was halfway through some bullshit story he was feeding her, he noticed the sympathy in her eyes. The empathy, and it was then he realized that he could tell her. Not only that but he felt the need to tell her. To feel that connection with another human being besides his mother. To feel that closeness and understanding, that love.

"I'm so sorry Castle." She told him as he concluded his story. It was those five little words that made his decision that much easier to make. So instead of just brushing it aside and letting it go, he gave her a look that clearly stated that what he had just told her was just another one of his carefully crafted and witty tales.

"You made that up?" Beckett said with a surprised and slightly annoyed tone.

"Its what I do!" He exclaimed with his smile obvious in his voice. He surprised even himself sometimes, if he didn't know any better he would have even convinced himself that he was as unfazed as he sounded. But the truth was that at that very moment, he was gong through his own personal hell as he thought about the event he still had nightmares about.

"Come on Castle, what really happened?" she asked him with a serious tone, all joking aside.

His eyes sobered, and she knew that what ever he was about to tell her, if he was about to tell her anything. That it was going to be the honest to God truth. He broke eye contact then, not wanting her to see the pain that had crossed his features, hoping she somehow missed it. But knowing her, she missed nothing.

"Hey," she said in a soft tone, "its ok." she grabbed his hand to get her point across. At first he stiffened at first at her touch, at how casually she just placed her hand on top of his. But after a second he relaxed and let himself enjoy the comfort of his friend, knowing that for her this was a rare show of affection.

"I know." he stated bluntly as he turned his hand to fully capture hers. As he did this she subconsciously traced small circles on the back of his hand, as she waited patiently for him to tell his story.

"I haven't always been fatherless you know." He said so quietly she almost didn't hear him. As he said it he finally looked up and met her eyes he could see her confusion. She sat quietly as she waited for him to elaborate. With the look of such patients and caring she was giving him he pressed forward with his story.

"I was almost 16 when he died." he said, his voice cracking on the last word. "He and mother had finally just started letting me travel the city on my own, we were making stir fry to surprise my mom with dinner, when we realized we were out of eggs. He sent me down to the corner store to buy a carton. I was just reaching the checkout stand when he called to tell me that we were out of soy sauce too. I was just grabbing the bottle, joking with him about how only he could forget two of the main ingredients, when I herd the crash. When he was quiet on the line I called out to him. He told me to call the police, that there was someone in the house." Castle paused, giving him self a break before he told her the hardest part of it. She squeezed his hand when she saw the tears slipping down his cheek.

"That was when all hell broke loose. All I could hear on the other end of the line was dishes shattering, then something big and heavy hitting the floor. It was quiet for a second when I heard foot steps. They stopped when they were right by the phone it seems like." He stopped again needing to catch his breath, not trying to hide the tears that were freely falling. He hardly ever cried, but when he did he wasn't ashamed of it.

"That's when I heard the shots." Castle squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the ringing in hisears, like he could still hear the horrible sound. Not wanting to push him Beckett just sat there silently holding his hand as he told her his story.

"The last thing I heard him say was my name before the line went dead."

* * *

SO? What do you think? Should i continue this little story of mine? :) See that little button right there? You know you want to push it! Let me know what you think please! Reveiws make my day! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Ok so I know that there has been some confusion about this story but I plan to clear everything up in this chapter. Yes this is how in _Heat Wave _Nikki Heat's mother was also murdered. I thought it would be an interesting little twist. So here it is and I hope you enjoy! Something else I should have told you is that this is a AU that I formed in this little old head of mine. Its not to be taken literally I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Again I own nothing that has to do with the show Castle. Well besides a T-shirt! J

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

He just sat there quietly for a few seconds, letting what he had just revealed to her sink in. He had a hard time grasping the fact that he had just shared the most personal part of his life to someone he had only known for such a small amount of time. He would given almost anything to know what she was thinking at that moment. But as it turned out, she wasn't going to make him pay.

"I'm so sorry Rick." was all she said. But those four little words helped him in more ways then she could have imagined.

"Yeah well. Me too." was all he could think to say at that moment.

"Oh my God.." she whispered as a new realization hit her. She looked at him with new understanding in her eyes. "In Heat Wave… Nikki's mom… and you… wow." was all she could manage to spit out.

"Oh my, detective I see someone has been reading my book." Castle said in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood. She decided to give him this one distraction, no matter how brief it may be.

"Yeah well I couldn't have you impeach my good name now could I?" She told him with a sly smile. He allowed himself to indulge in a light chuckle before he remembered their previous conversation and sobered almost instantly. He didn't know quite what to say. He knew that he wanted to tell her more but couldn't find a way to open up more of the conversation, he was hoping that she would do that for him. He didn't have to wait long.

" Why did you decide to put that in your book?" she asked tentatively, almost afraid to push him to far, knowing that he was already so close to the edge.

"Meeting you, and hearing your story…" he trailed off, not knowing how to explain this to her, but at the same time needing her to understand. "Seeing you deal with your mother's murder. The way you come in here everyday and reface what you lived through, with your head held high, for the sake of others. Trying to find justice for those who have been put through hell. It made me realize how much of a coward I have been all these years, hiding behind all these fucking lies!" He stopped to catch his breath, nearly yelling the last few words.

"I guess it was my own sick way of dealing with it." He looked at her, begging with his eyes for her to understand. Knowing full well that she miraculously would. But there was one part of his confession that bothered her.

"Lies?" Her tone was questioning and more than a little skeptical.

"Oh come on Kate." he said just as skeptical as she was, "You cant tell me that while I was telling you that, you didn't once wonder why every one thinks that I don't know who my father is." He said staring at her with a burning gaze.

" It might have crossed my mind…" she mumbled, breaking away from his penetrating stare. Her gaze drifting down to their intertwined hands. She knew what to say, realizing that he wanted her to ask but not going to tell her until she did.

" Why did you tell people that? Why do you pretend that he didn't exist?" she asked him, trying to keep the judgment out of her voice. But he didn't miss it, he gave her a intense look, begging her with his eyes to hear him out. He gave her his only reason, praying that she would somehow understand, or at least try to.

"My mother," he stated sincerely, avoiding eye contact but keeping a firm grip on her hand, "At first she just told people he had passed, not revealing the nature of his death. But then, after I had written my first novel, people started asking questions. Wondering where the famous Richard Castle's father was. So she told the press she didn't know…" He drifted off, a vacant look in his eyes, like he was seeing something happen right in front of him but nothing was there.

"She claims she did it to protect me," he continued, his eyes snapping back to hers with renewed vigor. "But my mother is almost as stubborn as you. She couldn't bare to see the pity in peoples eyes, especially in the eyes of strangers. So she told them she didn't know who my father was." He paused taking a deep breath to calm the emotions that were once again bubbling up to the surface. "So she told a lie in order to protect me, and I refrain from the truth in order to protect her."

He finally looked at her then, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holing when he saw the compassion and understanding in her eyes. She wanted to keep him talking as long as he was willing. She knew firsthand what it does to keep this stuff bottled up.

"So who all knows?"

"Just my mother and Alexis. And now you." He told her with a tentative smile.

He said it in a way that had a finality to it, letting her know that for tonight at least, he didn't want to talk anymore. But she had one last thing to say to him.

"Thank you." she said sincerely, and seeing the confused look in his eyes she elaborated, "For telling me, for opening up."

He gave her a warm look, his famous twinkle in his eyes back for the first time that night.

"It's the least I could do." And together they sat, finding comfort in one another's presence. Each wondering where this new found bond would take them.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Well? What do you think? I'm really happy with how it turned out. But the only way for me to know is if you tell me! So PLEASE! *falls on knees* Please make this all worth while and review. Love it or hate it, I would love to hear your thoughts. And I hope I cleared up your guys' questions that you had about chapter one. I really do hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


End file.
